This whole weekend was pretty much a series of different manifestations of that.
Waiting for Luke to sleep
Waiting for coffee to brew
Waiting for the kids to come back from the beach
Waiting for Luke to wake up
Waiting, waiting, waiting...
But! I got to halfway finish the never ending knitting project I had started for Luke. Finished the hood, joined the shoulders and the hood seam, can't make up my mind about leaving it a vest or knitting the sleeves.
Another But! I finally got the three stars tattoo I have been wanting to get on the inside of my lower arm. They are a tad bigger than I had originally thought, but I like it. Now I have to start on the drawing I want on my back as a continuation of my sun - which I will stylize a bit to look more like a sun instead of a grommet. I want to draw a like through the center of the sun down my back, put a planet and a moon about 2 inches down, then a starburst 2 more inches down, all while the line goes through everything. And have the whole thing in black. I think it would look great! Not too sure why I like getting my skin painted like this, I've been thinking about that for a while and can't come up with a reason. It's like a form of creating art I suppose, with a personal meaning attached, but still don't know why I can't just put the same stuff on paper and be happy with it. It's like I need to carry it around and own it. VERY hard to explain.
Oh, and at 3am Sunday morning, when I woke up for the nth time to make sure Luke was not at the wrong end of the bed, the only thought I kept thinking about is how much of me I have held back through the years past since I can remember. I have compromised so much of me, my wants and preferences. I think I will stop doing that now. I guess I am healing. Or maybe this is what happens at 40, you kind of re (or in my case) discover yourself.
Another thing that occurred to me as I have been mulling this clothing line thing over and over is that I guess people just kind of choose a thing and stick with it when they are trying to figure out what to do with their lives. For the longest time, I thought I had to FIND what I was to do with my life - or be in touch with myself enough to be able to recognize it. Ha! :) that seems kind of funny now. I now believe that you just choose the thing and do your best, learning along the way all the things you need to know to realize it, or get it to the point closest to your vision of it. That's it.
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